Favoritism

Last night in our small group we discussed James 2:5,6.  Don't show favoritism...
The conversation was all over the place; we talked about the poor, the homeless, other races, the handicapped, marginalized, and gays.  Each of us shared different times when we have felt scared, angry, disgusted, uncomfortable or indifferent when dealing with people who are different than us.

I was hoping to talk more about times that each of us have felt excluded, but it only came out in bits and pieces.  It may have been helpful to talk about the sadness, loneliness or shame that accompanies being left out.  I wonder if we could have gleaned more insight from each other's pain than we did by only discussing how or when or if we show favoritism.

There have been many different times in my life when I have been excluded.  One particularly painful time in my life was at the tender age of 13.  My family left our baptist church that I had attended since birth and started attending the United Methodist Church just down the road from our house out in the country.  I was scared and excited because I knew most of the kids that attended; we all rode the bus together every day!  This group met often and had parties, bible studies and even drove to school dances in groups.  The day I went to an indoor pool party with the youth group things started going sour.  I was so young and happy to just be there, that I had fun with everybody, including all the boys. Needless to say, this did not please all the girls.  That night, we all went to a movie as a group and I grabbed the arms of two of the older guys who I felt were my new friends.  That may have cemented the girls' hatred of me for the rest of my time in that church.  Those "christian" girls started making life miserable for me.  They talked behind my back at parties, gave me dirty looks, excluded me from any girl talk, made fun of my small breast size and told the boys to leave me alone.  One boy ignored them and became my boyfriend only making things harder for me to become close with any of the girls.  One night I called the ringleader on the phone and asked her why she hated me so much.  She said that it was just a personality conflict.  That statement made me feel un-likable and that it was pointless to keep trying.  I found that life at church was now even harder than life at school.  Our family eventually left that church for other reasons, but I have never forgotten what it felt like to be shut out. And, I learned a valuable lesson:  always try to make others feel welcome, valuable, important, included.

My belief that I tell myself when dealing with any new person in my life is this:  I may not know you, but you are either my brother or sister in Christ or you are my potential brother or sister in Christ and you are valuable to God and to me.  Either way, I accept you where you are right now, enough said.