Waiting for a call today for that elusive job in Western Michigan.
Finding a job in Michigan is more difficult than finding that proverbial needle in a haystack.
I have discovered that moving to this side of Michigan means that you need to know someone to get hired or even called for an interview. I thought about changing my last name to VanderBarker in hopes that potential employers would at least wonder if they knew me or my family!
So, I sit here and wait. Afraid to jump in the shower, afraid to run outside and put the garbage cans away. Afraid I will lose my voice the minute the phone rings...if it ever does. Afraid it won't. Afraid it will. Afraid of failure once again. Afraid.
Did you ever read the book, Hinds Feet on High Places? (where is the underline option?) Anyway, the main character, Much Afraid, goes on a long journey to become free from her fears. I feel as though I have started that journey, but never finished. Fear still rules my decisions much of the time. It is my constant battle to overcome fear.
I sing this line of an old hymn every morning: "Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow!"
That is what enables me to press on.
No rings yet, but there is hope for tomorrow!
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ReplyDeleteI, too, seem to live and react and interact out of fear. Sometimes - often - I'm like a deer in the headlights: I freeze up, unable to make a decision or even pick up a pencil because of fear. I hate it.
ReplyDelete(In fact, I was afraid someone would see the first comment I wrote to your post, which had a little misspelling in it, so I deleted it!)
By the way - you are a very good writer. I'm glad you started a blog.
Thanks Ron. Having you say that I am a good writer is a real compliment and morale booster.
ReplyDeleteI am still trying to figure out how this blog thingy works and didn't realize I had a comment till today.
Boy, can I relate to the inability to make decisions. Fear of failure, making mistakes or of being a disappointment to someone stops me from moving forward way too often. I would like to talk to someone who has felt like us and has overcome it for good. Do you think he/she exists?
Thanks for your encouragement.